Blog Description

How do you convey strength when the tears don't stop running down your face? My daughter's fall into the deep hole of depression and eventual admittance to a psych ward. Our journey,our hope-to share and learn the whys,whats and the ways of mental illness. Specifically the downward drain of depression that can happen to any of us. #StopTheStigma

Monday, July 8, 2013

Too good to be True.

Cristyl was a good girl. She was a happy baby; I called her my "Summer Child"  because she was always full of energy and sunny in disposition.  She was popular, pretty, captain of the dance team,a high school cheerleader, a good student who was loved by her teachers. Unfortunately she didn't love herself.

Despite all outward signs, my daughter was a very scared little girl who was always seeking approval-never wanting to be judged as anything less than perfect. So she internalized and assumed, never showed her true feelings or went against authority.  Confrontation wasn't for her.

It makes total sense that her mind would prefer to go into oblivion, catatonic, instead of her asking for help directly.  Looking back, I wish now that she would have been more demanding of others, more vocal in her needs/wants.  In her present state even an insult would be deemed a blessing.

On June 28 I received a call saying my daughter had been admitted to a hospital; she was completely incomprehensible and void of sane mind, drifting between catatonia and psychotic.  And here the journey for truth, healing and acceptance began.